One of my favorite movies is Forrest Gump, and one of the most painful moments is when Forrest’s mother is dying. A devastated son asks about his destiny, and she simply replies, “Life is a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re going to get.”
See:
I love chocolates. I eat them daily. They are part of my spiritual care self-care tools. Life, like a box of chocolates, is full of surprises—sometimes delightful, sometimes unexpected. We often plan our lives in neat divisions, much like compartments in a box. Education, career, retirement—each phase structured, each moment building toward the next. Many of us are in the “career” phase, working diligently toward the elusive “retirement” box. (By the way, I plan to retire in May—just not sure which year yet, maybe 2042.)
The Boxes We Live In
Beyond life’s structural phases, we also live in ideological and philosophical boxes that shape our thinking, feelings, beliefs, and interactions.
Living in the Box -People, organizations, and religions that live in the box value their identity, history, and traditions. They often rely on past wisdom and established norms to define their reality. While this provides stability, it can also lead to stagnation—where people are stuck in the past, and survival becomes the primary focus rather than growth. They avoid taking risks and going into unknown areas.
Living Out of the Box – This mindset rejects the past, striving to break free from old traditions to create something entirely new. People in this box are focused on the future and trying hard to not be influenced by the past and separating from previous ideologies. Their philosophy is to get rid of everything old build new. While this approach is innovative, it can also be reactionary—driven more by the desire to escape the past than by a clear vision for the future.
3. Living Beyond the Box – The most dynamic and life-giving approach integrates the wisdom of the past with the possibilities of the future, while remaining fully present in the NOW. Those who live beyond the box are not confined by survival or reinvention. They live in PRESENT, here and now so they can thrive. They embrace intuition, curiosity, and simplicity. Their core values are sensitivity, awareness, and deep relationships. They use utilize head and heart, and rely heavily on their intuition, instinct, and sixth sense. Their driving force is curiosity, and their goals is simplicity.
A Beyond-the-Box Moment
Let me share an example from a Palliative Care consult. As we were concluding a conversation with a patient and their family, our physician sensed the need to ask if we could close with a prayer. The family readily agreed, and many of us prayed together.
That was a “beyond the box” moment. Conventionally, many would assume that only a Chaplain should ask that question. But in true spiritual care, intuition and human connection transcend roles. It takes courage to step beyond predefined responsibilities and embrace the sacred in everyday interactions.
The Courage to Live Beyond
Living beyond the box requires risk. It means refusing to play it safe. It is a commitment to do something extraordinary every day—not for the sake of breaking rules, but for the sake of deeper, more meaningful engagement with life.
There is no growth in comfort zone. Hegel (German philosopher who use to be horrible Pastor, like Kant, Nietzsche), summarized life in three parts/boxes:
Hegel’s dialectical method, inspired by Socratic dialogues, is a framework for understanding the evolution of ideas of life through a three-step process: thesis, antithesis, and synthesis. Here’s a closer look at each component:
Thesis: This is the initial idea or proposition. It represents a starting point or an established belief in our life.
Antithesis: As the thesis exists, it naturally gives rise to its opposite, the antithesis. This opposing force challenges the thesis, creating conflict or contradiction.
Synthesis: The conflict between the thesis and antithesis is resolved through synthesis, a higher level of understanding that integrates elements of both. This synthesis then becomes the new thesis, and the process begins anew.
At Chaplaincy Pro, we encourage this kind of spiritual leadership. A Chaplain’s role is not just to provide comfort but to cultivate awareness, resilience, and transformative care. We must be present, ready to recognize the sacred in unexpected places, and willing to step into moments of profound human connection.
So, which box are you living in? And more importantly—are you ready to live beyond it?
Current Planet Earth citizen,
Ben
